What I Want

By On 20/09/2012 · Leave a Comment · In fucking and the theory thereof, mental health

We weren’t going to fuck. This was a first date after one I broke because of my mental health; when I cancel on her because I’ve shut down from introvert burnout, she feels like I don’t want her and then when I’m going to see her again, there’s too much pressure to want her (read: [...]

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Off the Mat: Let it Be Easy

By On 07/09/2012 · Leave a Comment · In mental health, relationships

(The idea that one’s yoga practice keeps happening, keeps being relevant, keeps affecting one’s body and emotions, even once they step off their mat can be heard in studios near and far. In my experience, it’s often true. Off the Mat posts are where I talk about it.)

There is a moment in a headstand [...]

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Fiona Apple: Really About Dating While Borderline

By On 13/07/2012 · 3 Comments · In commentary, fucking and the theory thereof, mental health

TW: mental illness, mentions of suicidal thoughts and abusive behavior

I am pretty sure Fiona Apple’s quartet of albums sums up my entire young adult/adult life pretty perfectly, this trajectory of growing up to become a mentally ill femme (except that she’s straight).

Tidal is high school for me. It’s being incredibly horny and thinking [...]

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There Is No Blanket Consent in Poly

By On 03/05/2012 · Leave a Comment · In commentary, mental health, poly, relationships

I’m kind of embarrassed to admit that this is a recent realization.

Consent is a constant process, not only while having sex, but also while having relationships. Just as one’s consent during sex adapts to accommodate our current realities, so must our poly. I am not a big believer in “rules poly”; reading some examples [...]

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Fucking While Borderline

By On 11/12/2011 · 3 Comments · In femme, fucking and the theory thereof, gender, mental health

This is an exercise in integration: integration of myself as crazy, myself as femme, myself as bottom (and sometimes top), myself as sexual, myself embodied, myself whole. Today has been a rough day for my mental health; when I have a borderline breakdown, it’s very fragmenting. In general, life as someone who has borderline personality [...]

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Reading in Cuntext: “Wild Geese” as Crisis Plan

By On 18/08/2011 · 4 Comments · In mental health, reading

When your particular brand of certifiable insanity causes you repeatedly to hurt the people you love, the self-loathing can get so deep you can’t even dream of digging yourself out. In recent months, I’ve felt evil, and I’ve felt hopeless, and I’ve felt very genuinely like everything would be better if I could just muster [...]

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