Easy: Valuing Bottoming

By On 15/02/2013 · Leave a Comment · In fucking and the theory thereof, gender, kink, queertastic

Mornings with the boy, I nearly always want to fuck him. I feel his solid limbs heavy with sleep, and there’s something about the trust implicit in him begging for it while still half-dreaming that makes it impossible not to pull his ass back into me and wrap an arm around his throat. Years ago, [...]

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What I Want

By On 20/09/2012 · Leave a Comment · In fucking and the theory thereof, mental health

We weren’t going to fuck. This was a first date after one I broke because of my mental health; when I cancel on her because I’ve shut down from introvert burnout, she feels like I don’t want her and then when I’m going to see her again, there’s too much pressure to want her (read: [...]

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Fiona Apple: Really About Dating While Borderline

By On 13/07/2012 · 3 Comments · In commentary, fucking and the theory thereof, mental health

TW: mental illness, mentions of suicidal thoughts and abusive behavior

I am pretty sure Fiona Apple’s quartet of albums sums up my entire young adult/adult life pretty perfectly, this trajectory of growing up to become a mentally ill femme (except that she’s straight).

Tidal is high school for me. It’s being incredibly horny and thinking [...]

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Dear Marcie: The Cotton Ceiling and Questioning Desire

By On 29/06/2012 · 8 Comments · In commentary, fucking and the theory thereof, gender

So, After Ellen recently published an article hot mess of transphobic fail on the cotton ceiling, a term coined by Drew DeVeaux to explain queer trans women’s experiences with “simultaneous social inclusion and sexual exclusion”. Other than the entire premise of [...]

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Princess

By On 17/05/2012 · Leave a Comment · In femme, fucking and the theory thereof, gender, kink

I’m a princess.

This is kind of hard to admit. When I write it without a “fucking” to harden it, I cringe. I was raised on Tonka trucks and overalls, playing in the dirt, no-Barbies-allowed, on self-sufficiency and confidence, on competence. When Nic and I started dating, she used to say, “Anything for you, [...]

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Dear Internet, You’re a Bro

By On 19/04/2012 · Leave a Comment · In fucking and the theory thereof, kink, pussy

I am blessed with an extreme lack of sexual shame. I’m not entirely sure how I grew up to be so shameless as a queer, kinky woman in this homophobic, misogynistic, body-shaming world, but I have some ideas. It obviously helps that I’m fairly conventionally pretty (white, blonde, thin, able-bodied), that I’ve had access to [...]

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Slut?

By On 05/04/2012 · 1 Comment · In commentary, femme, fucking and the theory thereof, kink

A slut is someone who will do anything to get sex. A slut is committed. A slut is determined. She is dedicated. She goes after it. She prioritizes it. A slut pushes herself, wants more, seeks more, takes more. Her desire is that strong.

Show me how much you want it. Show me. C’mon, you [...]

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Personal Development, or Things I Will Attend in 2012

By On 04/01/2012 · Leave a Comment · In events, femme, fucking and the theory thereof, gender, kink, pussy, queertastic

January 2012

Femme Day of Action: I’m not sure yet what this will entail, but I hear there’s an organizing meeting later this month, and I’m excited to see what will unfold!

April 2012

Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater: [...]

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Fucking While Borderline

By On 11/12/2011 · 3 Comments · In femme, fucking and the theory thereof, gender, mental health

This is an exercise in integration: integration of myself as crazy, myself as femme, myself as bottom (and sometimes top), myself as sexual, myself embodied, myself whole. Today has been a rough day for my mental health; when I have a borderline breakdown, it’s very fragmenting. In general, life as someone who has borderline personality [...]

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Sex Is All the Time

By On 13/05/2011 · 1 Comment · In fucking and the theory thereof

Sex is often so unitized, thought about as this thing that happens all by itself, separate from all other things in life. The other night I was trying to explain to someone I was meeting for the first time what sex blogging is, if not just self-indulgent descriptions of the sex I’m having, and I [...]

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